A Year Ago Today I Saw You
It was a year ago today I saw your face. I had seen so many faces up to that point... And at that moment your chubby cheeks, adorable smile, and precious eyes caught mine. You made me giggle and say:
"That's my kid..."
It was a bold and scary sentence to say.
That moment... That moment you became my son, even though I didn't know it yet. A peg entered the ground of my heart and shook me with a great force. That moment when you stole my heart would become ingrained upon my mind and took my faith and my heart to a whole new level... You were our Yes.
I often think about what your life, what our life would look like if we hadn't said yes... If we had allowed fear or selfishness to step in, instead of faith, love, hope... TRUST. I wish I could say that after reading about your needs I wasn't scared and didn't allow fear to step in. But I did. And for two weeks my gut and heart hurt. I wanted you to be my son, but your needs scared me... until God said, "Who do you trust? Who is GREATER?"
God, the Great Orchestrator, weaved, moved, guided, and showed Himself in such a mighty way throughout those two weeks. Taking fear and shoving it out the door. And taking my faith and reminding me who is Greater. And it sure wasn't me. I was a putty, needing molding.
And here we are. One year after seeing you for the first time and six months after becoming a family of four. Life may have flipped upside down and changed drastically. But I wouldn't have it any other way.
These past six months have been refining, challenging, and so beyond rewarding all in one.
I can't imagine life without you. You have made me a better person. You are strong, a fighter, opinionated like your Mama, stubborn like your Dadda, funny, gentle, loving, caring... The list goes on and on. I have loved seeing you change and come out of your shell these past 6 months. Your laugh and giggle is infectious and you LOVE life.
God has big plans for you... BIG. I am so grateful that I have the privilege to be called your Mama. Privileged to watch you grow up, see you take this world by storm and change it in a Mighty way.
A year ago today I saw you... And in that moment, we became family forever.
